Always maintain your university friendship - they make you happy

University friends - they are your emotional backbone.

After you graduated from the university, you feel happy. No more classes. No more assignments, no more exams.

Some of you take a gap year. Some of you want to start earning money. So you apply jobs during your final semester.

You get a job. You go to your office on your first day. You are excited to accomplish your first task. You befriend with your colleagues. You have lunch with them because there are articles published out there saying "eat lunch with your colleagues" and "do not eat lunch at your desk alone."

Three months later or so, you attend your convocation ceremony. It is not about you wearing those Harry Potter robes. It is not about you getting an empty scroll. It is not about you collecting your certificates from your university's office.

It is about you reuniting with your friends!

You realize, on the big day that marks a huge milestone in your education journey, you miss your university friends. You do not miss the assignments, but you miss your friends that you work with. You miss the university lifestyle. You miss having lunch together with your friends.

Before the convocation ceremony, you probably do not meet your friends because they are busy with their work too.

This is why you need to maintain your university friendship. Your emotional backbone is your family. You have problems, you turn to your parents. Your second emotional backbone is your university friends. Not all things you can share with your parents right?

Where to put your work colleagues then?

Zero to none.

Convocation ceremony is a one day event. It feels like Haley Joel Osment's character in Artificial Intelligence named David. David was a child robot. During post apocalytic period when humans were already extinct, he wished he could spend one day, only one day with his human mother.

I literally cried watching that scene.

Yes, convocation ceremony is a one day event. The next day, everything is back to normal. You go to your office. Your friends go to their office.

You are considered new in your team. Your colleagues already formed a bond with each other. You try to enter that bond, to be part of it. But it is too hard. They do not casually invite you to have lunch anymore. You want to ask them to join, but their action, their aura, set a barrier that forbids you to ask them. Eventually you eat at the pantry alone, and that is similar to eating at your desk alone.

The pantry is a universal place in your office. You meet people from other teams or departments. You start to get closer with them, more than your own team. During company dinners, you tend to sit with a different team instead with your own team. You attend their engagements, their parties, their weddings. You welcome them to your house for a dinner or lunch.

You still work well with your closest colleagues, but it is only work. You see them happy together but you are not part of them. You see their photos of them being together in social media but you are not in it.

Social media can make you depressed. Sounds familiar? And I do not think it only affects students.

You are not the new colleague forever. There will be a new hire. As he is new, you are being polite, guiding him about the norms in the company, you chat with him, you go back with him from work because both of you use the same public transport.

However, when he is getting closer with your other colleagues, overtime, the chemistry between both of you, slowly faded.

You turn back to your colleagues from the other teams or departments. But here is the thing about befriending with people from outside of your working circle in your office. No matter who you are, you are not one of them. Maybe they have something to share with each other, something P&C about work, which you should not know. So, you cannot be with them, all the time, during lunches or company dinner.

Another dead end.

Eventually, you open your Whatsapp, you open your group, filled with your university friends, and you share your miseries with them.

You read the similar experience from them too.

Instead of having dinner with your colleagues, you should have dinner with your parents. You also can find time with your university friends to meet up and catching up.

They are your emotional backbone after all.

Your colleagues, you need to work well with them. You smile to them. As long as you contribute to your company with your skills, that matters more.


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